If one thing surprises everyone visiting Asia for the first time is how much status you have: hunter you have become the hunted!
As soon as you arrive, female eyes are on you. They smile at you, you smile at them and the ice is broken. You now have all their attention and their net will soon be stretched over your head.
Does it mean that you are especially attractive or that you breathe wealth? Unfortunately for your ego, this is not often the case. In addition, this favored treatment is mainly aimed at men whose age no longer allows them to play the Don Juan of the Tropics. Many guys say that they have a lot of success on the dating sites which you can check out here.
What happened during those 18 hours of flight? Is this a phenomenon due to the pressurization of the cabins?
Based on this discovery does it mean that no real love relationship seems possible between a stranger and a Pinoy? Should we think that the cement of the couple will be based only on a contract for the shortest possible duration for maximum profitability?
Many Filipina couples will prove you the opposite. But unlike the western romantic model where we start with love and where it ends too often with a cohabitation for the respect of customs, the relationship with a Pinoy often begins with a contract of convenience which, at the cost of a understanding and acceptance of differences, will be transformed to bring out a true love story between two beings so different at the beginning. As you have understood, the challenge will be to make you love for what you are and not for what you represent. If you’re wondering where to meet some Pinays then Bloggers like Jeff Wilson from Date Smarter Guide say that the best place to meet a good Filipina online is over here www.datesmarterguide.com/filipino-cupid-review.
Before rushing on this path and not to be disappointed and know how to unravel the skein of the relationship, it is therefore prudent to know the topology of the ground on which we engage. Or more simply trying to understand what could be the phycology of Filipino women.
Being neither a psychologist nor an ethnologist, having not met a “representative panel” of the female population of the Philippines, I do not have the ambition to trace THE PORTRAIT of Filipina women but simply to give you my enriched observations by a large number of experiences lived by the expat community in this sweet country.
What Makes Filipina Women Special?
Filipino women are, in many ways, unique among women. It brings in any relationship a set of behavioral traits from the deepest of Asian culture and attitudes that, for us as a foreigner, are totally unknown. Let’s try through this article to highlight some of these behaviors and cultural factors attached in the hope that the reader will gain a better understanding of Filipina.
Due to the impressive amount of areas to be treated, it seemed appropriate to group my observations into several arbitrarily chosen chapters.
What’s so special about the day you get married to a Pinay?
The answer to this question is that on your wedding day you end up with 3,000 new relatives.
In addition, you will have the certainty of your new status of son-in-law when the first visit of your beautiful mother will last 5 years.
As you have understood, these jokes are based on satire and exaggeration but nevertheless, we can find a background of truth. In fact, 99.9% of Filipinas come with luggage and, in their case, the luggage takes the form of “family”.
The Filipino family is never small, at least it has 3 children. My wife comes from a sibling of 10 children and this is nothing exceptional. But more than the family unit, it is the concept of extended family, cousins, uncles, aunts … that makes you inherit a beautiful sprawling family.
Whether you’re married for better or for worse, or just married to a Filipina, whatever you do, you inherit from your family, especially if you’re a stranger. This may be beneficial but in most cases, it is a financial and emotional burden for both you and your wife, although she does not see it as such.
Know that since you are now part of the family, your domain becomes their domain. You can expect siblings to try to migrate to your home when it’s not also the mother, father, aunts, and uncles that will invade your space.
Because they grow up mainly in conditions of high promiscuity, Filipinos generally have no idea what “private life” means. For them, it is totally natural to coexist at any time of day or night. The doors, when they exist remain permanently open, your bed, your couch become a meeting place for the family and the neighbors, your refrigerator becomes the door of access to the cool drinks and foods which they hope abundant, the remote control of your television goes from hand to hand in the sandstone moods of each visitor.
This can be a problem when you share your life with a Filipina. Even your room is no longer a private domain and you will have to accommodate your moments of intimacy according to the periods of deep sleep of the various occupants of the house. Luckily, Filipinos generally sleep heavy and frequent.
Your partner may not understand you if, suddenly, you get angry to get rid of this band of intruders. In fact, do not be surprised if she thinks that something is wrong in your head when you are looking for some privacy and loneliness. This is a concept totally foreign to the majority of Filipinas who prefer the sounds of the family cocoon to the silence of a peaceful retreat.
Filipinos generally grow up with a strong sense of sharing, especially in the sense of ‘you to them’. For them it will be natural for you to share your home with them. To stop this you must oppose this coexistence with force and even before they land. Otherwise, their final move will be inevitable.
As soon as it’s a family affair, you’ll be expected to pay for just about everything, the little sisters’ studies, daily food, medical bills and a new karaoke. Daily expenses always seem to fall on the stranger and, as a result, you will wonder how the family managed to live without you. In their minds, it goes without saying that the Filipino family never or never has enough money. Starting from this logic, you are expected to have money simply because you are a stranger.
In my opinion, the major problem with Filipinos is in this cultural attitude: As soon as, in the extended family, one of the members starts to earn money it becomes his responsibility to share with others. And most often this burden falls on the eldest daughter. She can do the job she wants, even if it is against good morals, as long as she sends money to her family.
If, as in the majority of cases, she already has a child whose father was quick to flee the announcement of “the happy event”, the family will be too happy to keep this child so that their daughter can send them regular money. And if we ask why it’s not boys who are looking for work and so can help the family, you go for a madman because the answer is obvious to them: “They do not work because there is no work well paid in the Philippines for men. Too often we see a young man quit his job simply because his sister has found a job or is now living with a stranger. Why get tired of looking for work if you have the opportunity to receive money from a family member and why go live in a nipa hut without comfort while your sister lives in a large comfortable home. They are 2 and they have 3 rooms, so there are 2 rooms available for siblings. My advice, by the way, is to have a small house built just for your personal needs. But I know,
Many Filipinos who do not have money, consider it your obligation to give them. They assume that since you are a stranger you are the must and you have money so it is your job to share it with them. Many foreigners report the quality of the welcome given to them by the family of their bride. They went with some fears, Am I not too old for her, her father is even younger than me? How will they judge me with my 100 kg of fat and a lot of hair on the pebble while she is beauty personified?
Why at the end of this visit are they rave about the warm welcome they received? And you, how would you react if, one day, your daughter present you the man likely to solve all your problems? Of course, he would be welcome and his physique would be quickly forgotten in front of a portfolio that we hope well inflated.
Even if you manage to keep the family away from home, the family will put pressure on your partner to support her family and so, in turn, she will transfer that pressure to you. Family pressure will vary according to each situation but it will be constant. If you need staff, you will have to choose a family member first and it does not matter if he or she has absolutely no skill for that. They will always have a small business idea allowing them to earn some money but that will require you an initial down payment.
Filipinas and Money
Moreover, on this point a tip: never ask the balance sheet of the operation, it would be felt as an interference in a field that is not yours as if your banker is asking how you spent the money you borrowed. Except that in this case it’s not a loan or even an investment, it’s just a donation. And anyway you would be disappointed if they ever gave you the answer.
When I explained to my partner that in my country many parents support their children financially, she looked at me without understanding, trying to make fun of her because she was not ready to understand a situation like this. He is rooted in the vast majority of Filipinas that they have to support their families.
The Appearance of Pinays
By resuming this kind of easy jokes “You know that you are married to a Filipina when you are the only family within a radius of 20 km with 6 DVD players and 5 TVs”, I would like to address the problem of the appearance and to “argue”.
The concept of “appearance” is one of the bases of education in Filipino culture. It is also a fundamental thing in the Philippines. This concept is present everywhere, in all levels of Filipino society.
For a Filipina, when she lives in her family, in the middle of her close neighbors, the personal appearance is of little importance. Her wardrobe will consist of t-shirts and shorts often bought in second-hand shops, the famous boutiques that sell clothing from international donations. However, when it comes time to meet friends or visit the more distant family, the story changes dramatically.
If, during a discussion between friends, your partner shares his opinion and even if it seems totally unrelated, even unfounded, do not offend by pointing out to all his mistake. His intervention positions him in the group and allows him to “appear” as a person who has the same knowledge as the other interlocutors especially if they are foreigners.
By trying to correct it in front of everyone, you will trigger a reaction that is not proportionate to the desired objective. She will defend her point of view by explaining that in the Philippines it is different, that you do not know yourself, at the risk of sinking even lower in the inconsistency too, in these eyes, not lose face.
Back home, she will reproach you for having shown that she had no education or that she is stupid. I can guarantee you that you will have a very bad evening.